Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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