I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
