Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
