Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize