the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
