so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
