I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
