i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
