I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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