Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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