My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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