i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize