Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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