the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
