Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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