Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
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There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
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Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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