I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog