I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement