It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
