This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
