How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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