dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
