What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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