am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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