Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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