There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
