wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
