I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
