ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
