This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
