Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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