I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
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You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
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FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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