plz talk dirty to me
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
