The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
