On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
