just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
