11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
