You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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