Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
