party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
