sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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