dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
