so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize