I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
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I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
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Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I would ride that face into the sunset
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