Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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