you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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