just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i think i just lost a toe
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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