I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize