I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
