I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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