Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
