we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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