Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
