Say something about gay babies.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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