I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My ass is underappreciated
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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