forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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