If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
