his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
