TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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