God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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