Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
