why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
