Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
