do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
