I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
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