I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
