spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
